going back

so i've been back in brooklyn for a while now. getting up early and cooking things and reviewing corporate legal documents and taking the subway and showing trader joe's a lot of love and wearing layers.

and i have been considering: will i go back to joburg? (or cape town, my, that would be much better.) this depends on several factors, namely, my bank account balance, fulbright & dean's award success and/or failure, whether or not i need to be with family, and whether or not i have to move again and pay the cost of that, etc.

i'd like to return, especially with more self sufficiency. as long as four months can feel while it's happening, when you get home all you can realize is the things you did NOT do. and those things occur to me all the time now.