storytelling

In the interest of summarizing a lot of strange things that have happened in the last two weeks, here’s a list:

first thing an afrikaaner said to me: a cab driver told me, “you don’t take any nonsense, do you?” after I resorted to getting my own things out of his backseat as we waited for him to get off his phone.

first thing out of the airport: a fake porter tries to steal a cart of our luggage as we wait for cabs at the curb. thankfully he is not successful.

first thing that happened on the road: Johannesburg’s highway entrances are blocked off because Zimbabweans are rioting at the embassy.

first thing on the news radio: the Johannesburg metro police have gone on strike, as of the day we arrived…because it’s not dangerous enough as is.

first meal upon arrival: was the Hotel Devonshire buffet, too delicious to handle, also the first time in several years I’ve eaten beef and not felt immediately ill after. Also involved things like custard, guava juice, and goat milk feta.

first night of sleep: very jetlagged, woke up at four am to rearrange things in my luggage and watch sesame street in zulu on SABC 1

first linguistic confusion: ‘just now’ or ‘now’ actually means later, ‘now now’ means much later, and ‘later’ means a whole different time of the day.

first south African roadtrip: we were headed to ha-makuya in the northern province with a four hour delay in the morning because our drivers a) got lost coming from Wits to the Devonshire (they are three minutes apart), b) got more lost and then got separated from one another and c) one of them locked his keys in the car just before nine am. We were scheduled to leave at six am. Finally on the N1 north, our driver takes a wrong turn and misses the exit to Polokwane, whereupon the program director unleashes her fury on the confused fellow. On the way, we get pulled over three times and get one speeding ticket.

first meal in hamakuya: cooked by amazing, resilient Venda grandmas and aunties and a manager named Shadrack; it involved more feta cheese, and homegrown tomatoes.

first party in the country: drinking amarula and “miner’s beer” at shingwedzi camp in kruger national park and trying to figure out the southern hemisphere’s sky/watching the equivalent of MTV

first dinner party I threw in the country: included six courses, at least one of which is curry. The more things change the more they stay the same!

first time doing laundry: was in a bathroom sink by hand, at tshulu camp ha-makuya, in the dark, with hand soap instead of washing powder, while listening to a horde of screaming baboons just outside.

first night out the town: began with a group TV appearance on the SABC 2 show African Views (the episode was produced by a former IHRE student) and ended with a trip with ten other people to an old folks bar, a gay bar, and a trance club called Monaco.